The Journey to Conception and Feelings of Inadequacy

by | Mar 31, 2022 | Anxiety, Change, Conception, Infertility, Wellness | 0 comments

Inadequacy is an adjective that comes up frequently when I work with clients who are on the journey to conception.

So I wasn’t surprised to hear from Anna that she felt inadequate.

Anna’s infertility story started seven years ago, when she and her partner decided to expand their family.

Anna always wanted to have kids. She was an only child. All her life, she dreamt of having a sister or a brother, someone to share her childhood experiences and secrets with.
As a child, she begged her parents for a sibling. They worked a lot and told her that they wanted to give all their love to her – and so they did. But Anna wanted a sibling, and she promised herself to have at least two children. Now, even one seemed impossible. 

When Anna and I met for our first session, I asked her to describe how she was feeling.

“Inadequate,” she said. 

She continued. “On paper, I have it all. I’m healthy, I have a job I love, my parents are healthy and we have a good relationship. I have a loving husband, and he is doing everything to help me feel good. We are each other’s best friends. We laugh, we cook together, we love traveling and hiking, and we have a big group of good friends. He makes me feel loved.” She paused and took a deep breath. “But me,” she said softly, “I feel inadequate.”

Anna continued to share.
Since she’d received the diagnosis of unexplained infertility, she felt like a part of her was simply missing. Absent. As if there was a hole in her soul and she couldn’t fill it  despite all the good things in her life.

Anna said that she felt like she was never full, never complete. There was always something missing. Even with her husband, who was her best friend, she felt like she couldn’t be completely understood, accepted, or loved.

Anna explained that every infertility test cut the hole of inadequacy in her bigger. The hole became bigger still when she got the final diagnosis. When the doctor sat with her and her husband and gave them the diagnosis, she felt as if she was “damaged” and would never be enough. She didn’t understand why she was physiologically normal but still infertile. It made no sense.

What Anna and I Did

We looked at Anna for the person she was. Although Anna received the diagnosis of unexplained infertility, this was not who she was – it was a state, and we looked at it as such. 

We looked at and explored Anna’s qualities, abilities, and achievements. We also looked at what Anna wanted to change about herself – old patterns, habits, and thoughts that didn’t serve her anymore. We focused on empowering thoughts, creating new habits, and developing helpful patterns. 

We practiced self-compassion and self-acceptance, starting with what Anna seemed to appreciate about herself  and gradually moving towards complex areas Anna wasn’t yet sure about.

Self-compassion and self-acceptance aren’t about accepting things blindly. They are about acknowledging those parts within that we aren’t yet sure about. Read more about practicing self-compassion when experiencing infertility. (insert link to blog).

⁣⁣We looked deeply into some of Anna’s metal blocks in order to remove them, and helped Anna create mind-body harmony and balance, which will support Anna on her journey to conception.

Anna says that, ultimately, the diagnosis of unexplained infertility provided her with an opportunity to look deeper into her soul. Because of her diagnosis, she discovered the warrior she is today. She learned to ask more questions, practice compassion, become a better listener, a better partner, daughter, and friend.

You Are Not Alone

Infertility is an all-consuming state and, as such, the resulting feelings of inadequacy can be significant. 

Infertility leads many women to perceive themselves as inadequate as a woman.⁣⁣

These incredible women can be successful in their careers, with many achievements galore. They may even have a loving relationship and supportive friends. But, for them, there is a crucial piece missing.⁣⁣

Questions around body betrayal and worthiness are common during a conception journey . Seek help and know that you are not alone.

 

 

Miri supports her clients who are experiencing infertility online and in her office in Vancouver, BC

She incorporates various modalities to empower her clients.
Miri focuses on creating mind-body harmony and balance and supports her clients in finding their inner resources to make sustainable shifts in their lives.

Individuals who practice these principles feel empowered in many aspects of their lives and improve their overall well-being.

For more information and to contact Miri Malkin @ Miri Malkin Hypnosis For Top Performance click below:

Miri Malkin

miri malkin hypnotist

Miri Malkin

Miri Malkin is a certified clinical hypnotherapist and ACC certified wellness coach. Her passion is helping clients access their subconscious for improved happiness and well-being. Miri has first-hand experience with many of the issues her clients face. Freed from these by hypnotherapy, she now uses this powerful tool to help others heal and live their best lives. With Miri, you get the treatment and tools for long-lasting positive change from someone who has walked in your shoes. Receive the caring support you deserve near you.

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