All is quiet.
There’s nothing to do but wait for sleep to come.
You look at the clock and watch the minutes and hours go by…as you remain awake.
Everyone else is sound asleep.
Thoughts come to mind, and the feeling of loneliness is often joined by stress and anxiety…
You think to yourself: when will it happen? When will I finally fall asleep?
Why Does It Feel So Lonely?
When the environment is quiet and there is no external stimulation, each of your thoughts and emotions becomes more pronounced.
Everyone is asleep, and so you have no one to talk to. Anxiety starts to build up and, during the night, it’s much harder to deal with.
If you lie down next to your partner, you might look at them with some anger, thinking, “How can you sleep?” while you anxiously and endlessly wait for sleep to rescue you from this torture of waiting.
The Cycle Of Dread
Often, those who suffer from insomnia get anxious just thinking about going to bed.
You get out of bed in the morning after barely getting any sleep, feeling exhausted from another sleepless night, and you’re expected to go about your day as if you are refreshed and energized.
At around lunch, you begin to worry that it will never get better. Will you ever be able to sleep through the night?
As you start thinking about sleep, your anxiety level spikes.
After dinner, closer to bedtime, more thoughts about sleep–or the lack of sleep–race through your mind.
As you get into bed, hoping to sleep and at the same time dreading yet another sleepless night, your stress level rises, causing adrenaline to rush through your system.
You feel sleep sliding away and you become even more alert.
You start negotiating with sleep. If only I can get 4 hours of sleep tonight…
You look anxiously at the clock and see the hours go by. Once again. OK, you say, maybe 3 hours?
You think about everyone you know, and even those you don’t know. They are all asleep, and you can’t even get 3 hours of sleep…why? It feels so lonely to just lie in bed and wait for what seems like a miracle to you – drifting off to sleep – while others do it without even thinking about it. It feels like torture. Lying in bed, you watch the night turn to day. This continues night after night, like driving endlessly down the same dead-end street.
What Can I Do To Succeed at Falling Asleep?
Do you feel like you’ve tried it all, but nothing really helped?
- First, normalize your feelings. It is estimated that 70 million Americans suffer from sleep disorders with insomnia being the most common.
- Break the “Cycle of Dread” – learn and use practical tools to introduce a more relaxed state during the day. By creating a relaxed state of mind you allow your nervous system to activate the “rest and digest” state rather than an agitated one.
- Learn to create a positive association with bed and sleep. This will help you approach sleep in a calmer manner and drift off more successfully.
- Create an enjoyable nighttime routine to support your positive association with sleep and your bed.
- Use mind-body techniques to quiet your mind and relax your body while in bed.
Miri is an a hypnotherapist and integrative sleep coach who supports her clients to improve their sleep and their lives.
She works with clients locally from her office in Vancouver, BC and with clients all over the world from the comfort of their homes.
For more information and to contact Miri Malkin @ Miri Malkin Hypnosis For Top Performance click below: